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I Wish I Were Special (Southern Scandal, #1)

by Julia McBryant

I Wish I Were Special - Julia McBryant
Part of the Southern Scandal series:
Editions:Kindle: $ 2.99

The youngest of five, Quinn is known throughout Savannah as the Rutledge oops baby and an inveterate party boy — but his wham, bam, thank you, ma'am philosophy covers a deep well of loneliness. Architect Ellis Ashford has shunted his daddy kink off onto a "savior complex" for years. Can they resist the magnetic pull between them, despite their age difference? Or will the Greek chorus of Savannah gossip tear them apart?

Part of the interconnected Southern Seduction and Low Country Lovers universe, this spin-off series stands alone.

This book is on:
  • 2 To Be Read lists
  • 1 Currently Reading list
Cover Artists:
author - american, format - kindle, format - kindle unlimited, format - novel, format - novella 15k-60K, format - self published, format - series, format - shared universe, potential trigger, potential trigger - abuse - past, potential trigger - drug abuse, potential trigger - traumatic past, what - concept - committment, what - concept - danger, what - concept - family conflict, what - concept - homophobia, what - concept - isolated, what - concept - resilience, what - concept - second chance, what - concept - sweet, what - concept - transgressive, what - condition - injury, what - condition - mental illness, what - condition - ptsd, what - emotion - angst, what - emotion - anxiety, what - emotion - grief, what - emotion - hope, what - emotion - love, what - holiday - thanksgiving, what - sex - age play, what - sex - bdsm light, what - sex - daddy kink, what - sex - dirty talk, what - sex - discipline, what - sex - fetish, what - sex - first time / exploration, what - sex - kink, what - sex - spanking, what - sex - total power exchange, what - topic - taboo, when - general - college, when - season - fall, where - country - usa, where - region - us south, where - state - georgia, who - description - daddy, who - description - gay teen boys, who - description - mature man, who - description - savior, who - description - teenager, who - description - twink, who - description - unaccepting parent, who - description - unstable, who - occupation - architect, who - occupation - college student, who – description – abuse survivor

Pairings: M-M
Heat Level: 5
Romantic Content: 5
Ending: Click here to reveal
Character Identities: Bisexual, Gay
Protagonist 1 Age: 18-25
Protagonist 2 Age: 36-45
Tropes: Age Difference, Forbidden Love, Healing Power of Sex, Hurt / Comfort, Love Can Heal / Redemption, May/December, Meet Cute, Smartass Twinks, Thrill of the Chase, True Love
Word Count: 59896
Setting: Savannah GA
Languages Available: English
Series Type: Continuous / Same Characters

Quinn goes home and jerks off to Ellis fucking him in the ass while he begs and tells him he’ll be a good boy, he swears he’ll be so good, look how good he’s being. Then he takes another scalding hot shower. Should’ve known. The only guy he hasn’t met at a club in god knows how long and he refuses to fuck him. Of course. Quinn should’ve known that it never works out for him. Too much of a brat. Too used to getting what he wants. Wrong clothes, wrong attitude, wrong everything. He stands in the shower and scrubs and scrubs. Afterwards, Quinn curls up in bed. It flits across his mind, the way it always does when things get bad: the time he nearly drowned when he was two. The usual story: a party, everyone thinks someone else is watching the baby and no one’s paying attention, not really.


Quinn remembers kneeling to look at the light fracturing, spiderwebbing across the pool at night. And he was falling, down, down, headfirst then a gentle flip to his back. He could see the people as far away blurs, smears, the water around him so clear, the breath he took so easy but heavy and strange. Quinn remembers staring, staring up, the water fracturing around him, the slow, slow movement of his limbs, wanting so badly to close his eyes. 

He didn’t choke until they brought him up, until he tried to breathe the air again, until he tried to scream, lungs full, suddenly terrified, suddenly aware of how alone he’d been down in the water, alone with all that dancing light, the people far, far away, not missing him, not caring, not noticing the baby in the bottom of the pool. He falls asleep and dreams of water. 

So when Ellis calls the next day, he doesn’t pick up. 

Nor does he pick up the call later that afternoon. 

Or the next day. 

Or the day after that. 

Motherfucker’s persistent, though. He keeps calling. Quinn ignores him. 

Quinn goes cub-hunting again later in the week. Henry, Wills, and their brother Alexander have gone back to school; the Jasper twins show up, so he rides with Lucky and Thor. They stick to the back of the pack, but eventually, inexorably, Quinn draws ahead until he’s riding near the hounds again. He likes to take the jumps too much. Savannah’s given them another gorgeous morning, a little hotter but with the same lingering mist, the same promising glow. 

The sunlight’s shifting from gold to yellow when he sees Ellis at a check. Quinn glances up, then looks away. 

Ellis doesn’t speak, perfectly proper, until they trot off. He pulls his gray horse next to Quinn’s Mister. “You didn’t have to ignore all my calls.” 

“You didn’t have to refuse to go home with me,” Quinn retorts. “Don’t know if you’re aware, but that’s generally how a date ends when you find the other person acceptable.”  

“You’re savage.” Ellis sighs. 

“You keep saying that. And yet I manage quite well for myself, thanks.” 

“You spent last semester nearly failing out of SASA, you spend your weekends fucking random guys you meet at Club Metro. Your parents used all their energy on your older siblings and by the time the Rutledge oops baby arrived there wasn’t much left for you. You’re on a road to nowhere, brat. Even your cousin Delia thinks so, and she’s got her head on straighter than just about any Rutledge in the city.” 

“What the fuck?” Quinn demands. 

Ellis shrugs. “Savannah likes to talk. Savannah especially likes to talk when you buy it liquor.” 

“So what’s your goddamn point?” Ellis has hit him hard, ugly, and it hurts more than Quinn wants to admit, even to himself. Knowing Delia thinks he’s a fuckup might be the worst. His cousin has shared the same class with him since kindergarten. He loves her like a sister. “You don’t want to fuck me, so why do you keep calling?” 

“Not interested in fucking you currently, no. In civilizing you before I fuck you? Yes. I believe it’s called an actual relationship.”

Quinn snorts. “Uh-huh. Right. Like I’m going to believe that.” Like hell Ellis wants an actual relationship. He doesn’t know what the fuck Ellis wants, but he wants something. However, Quinn doesn’t need any part of someone who informs him that Delia, of all people, thinks he’s a fuckup. Thanks for reminding me how much I suck, asshole. See you later. 

“Too bad for you. Because you need someone to look out for you.” 

“I think I’m doing a fine job on my own.” 

Quinn rides back to the Jasper twins. They probably have plenty of brandy left. In Savannah, it’s never too early for daydrinking. 

But something nags at him. 

Ellis is right. 

Reviews:Mimi on Goodreads wrote:

A great read, full of scorching-hot sex scenes. However, it wasn”t the only thing I liked about this book. The somehow oppressive atmosphere of Savannah, with its rich, bored people, whose main occupation is gossip, with the main and secondary characters struggling to get out of it or plying on it is another thing that drew me to this story.

And of course, the main characters. My heart ached for Quinn, the apparently rich, privileged, spoiled party boy. But how deceiving appearances can be! And Ellis, with his cool, even cold exterior, and the caring heart hiding underneath... This book will make you cry, laugh, curse and jump with joy, sometimes all at once.

Highly recommended!

Ana Nimity on Goodreads wrote:

I read this after reading Hurricane Dreams because I wanted to see what other deliciously Southern characters Julia McBryant could dream up.

I'm a fan of Daddy kink in MM books, and the author delivered one of the best I've read. Both Daddy and boy are flawed, searching for acceptance and love, which they unexpectedly find with each other. It's a rocky journey, though, with plenty of missteps and a ton of push-pull as their relationship grows.
Quinn, the 19-year-old student whose birth was an unwelcome surprise to his family, puts on the veneer of self-confidence and does whatever he wants, whenever he wants, as a way of flouting Savannah's smothering society expectations.
Ellis, the 38-year-old architect who falls head-over-heels for the young libertine, exercises his "savior complex" in an attempt to save Quinn, conveniently overlooking his own need for rescue.

There's also plenty of hot-as-a-Southern-summer-night sex, too, almost to the point where the Savannah chorus's supposition that Ellis only wanted sex from Quinn, but not quite. It's their way of communicating when they are no longer able to "use words" as Ellis often instructs Quinn.

If you enjoy a hefty does of angst with your daddy kink, you'll love this book. I did!
*I received an arc of this book.*

Denise Roberts on Goodreads wrote:

Was lucky to get an early copy of this book X
Brilliant Daddy / boy story . Gripping from the start . Quinn leads a very privileged life but lacks all direction and true love , on the outside he seem to be coping well. Ellis want to fix Quinn ! Make him realise he is worthy of love . Lots of sexy scenes . Watching how both of their walls are broken down and allowing each other to trust and love
Would highly recommend

About the Author

Julia McBryant is, as the saying goes, Southern born, Southern bred, and when she dies, she’ll be Southern dead.  Julia likes to play with her German Shepherds and hike, especially in the North Carolina mountains. When she isn’t writing, she’s writing. She is grateful her husband tolerates both her and her affinity for glitter.