How Not to Blend


by Susan Hawke

How Not to Blend - Susan Hawke - Lovestrong
Editions:ePub: $ 3.99 USD
Pages: 276
Paperback: $ 14.99 USD
ISBN: 1793807418
Size: 5.00 x 8.00 in
Pages: 274

One clueless single dad…

Dr. Corbin Davis is a busy guy just trying to do his best as a single parent. He may be oblivious to a lot of things, but surely he would’ve noticed something as important as his fifteen-year-old son, Grayson, being bullied, right? And what the heck is non-binary, and why hasn’t Gray shared this all-important part of himself with his own dad?

Plus one sassy Southerner…

Andy Ferguson, or Kandi as the Thursday night drag community knows him, is just trying to get along in a small town and hold things together while he takes care of his beloved Gam-Gam. If she’d just get off his back about finding himself a man, that would be fantastic, thank you very much. He’ll get around to love… one of these days.

Equals a pair of fake-boyfriends who will keep you in stitches.

When Corb gets the wild idea to ask Andy to pose as his boyfriend to let Gray know that his dad is bisexual and open-minded enough to talk to about his nonbinary status, Andy is amused and just intrigued enough to say yes… especially since he seems to be in the market for a fake boyfriend himself, if it will get Gam-Gam to quit nagging.

This is the first book in the LOVESTRONG series about finding love and being yourself in a small town. Intended only for 18+ readers, this is an mm romance filled with all the fun, fluff, and feels you’d want from an S. Hawke book.

This book is on:
  • 2 To Be Read lists
Publisher: Independently Published
Cover Artists:
Pairings: M-M
Heat Level: 3
Romantic Content: 5
Ending: Click here to reveal
Character Identities: Bisexual, Gay
Protagonist 1 Age: 26-35
Protagonist 2 Age: 26-35
Tropes: Families/Raising Kids, Fake Relationship, Pretend Boyfriend / Girlfriend, Smartass Twinks
Word Count: 68000
Setting: United States
Languages Available: English
Series Type: Continuous / Same Characters

Mama Honey had left the building. Or at least her drag persona had. Larry grinned at me as I patted his shoulder on my way to my own dressing table. He was packing away Mama Honey's makeup and cleaning up his area. "Hey, baby girl. Did you catch Princesse Fetish's low market tuna tonight? We probably should've told her about those torn fishnets. I'm not even throwing shade, I kind of felt bad for her busted ass when she turned her back to the audience to do a little snap and bend and they totally split. I swear, girl, I gagged in all the best ways—it was that shocking."


I turned to Larry with a loud gasp. "Shut your piehole! Are you being serious right now?” I groaned with disappointment at the sight of his gleeful nod. “Dammit, I totally missed it. Seeing that would've given me life. For real… like in a deeply fulfilling way. And then I’d have a good excuse to offer her some Clearasil for those thigh zits." Pulling off my wig, I reverently placed my crowning glory on its stand before reaching for coconut oil and a cotton ball. Time was of the essence and I needed to remove my eyelashes before I could attack the makeup.

Larry watched me work for a few seconds before he leaned forward and planted his palms on his knees with a meddlesome smile. "Sooo…" He spoke slowly, drawing out the word. "I happened to glance over at the bar on my way back and I saw you talking to Nick and a very interesting-looking hunk of man. Care to share what that was about?"

Closing one eye, I pressed the oil-soaked cotton ball to the eyelash glue while glancing back at Larry in my mirror. "That interesting-looking man would be a certain Dr. Hottie."

His eyebrows shot to his hairline as Larry jerked back with a dropped jaw. "That was the one and only Dr. Hottie? The man who stars in all your wet dreams? He was here in our little club? Guuurl…" He fanned his face with a hand, blinking rapidly as if he were about to faint.

I snorted and shifted the cotton ball to the other eye, my attention focused on removing the lashes I’d just loosened while I talked. "Right? Nick pulled me over to introduce us and I about died. I mean, can you even? And get this, he's waiting for me right now. We're going out for coffee so he can ask me a favor." When Larry gasped again, I stifled a giggle and focused on my eyelashes. "No, it’s nothing like that, perv. Apparently it’s something to do with his kid. Nick asked me to be nice to him because the kid's family."

"Oh, I bet you’ll be real nice to him, honey." Larry cackled while he scratched the thick stubble on the side of his jaw.

"It's not like that," I said again, wincing at the sting when I removed the second set of lashes a moment too soon. "Okay. It may be a little bit like that? But holy shitballs. I'm about to have a private tête-à-tête with Dr. Hottie. I mean, damn. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. Tell me how the hell I’m supposed to sit across the table from him and drink coffee like a normal person without drooling all over myself or trying to dry hump him or something? Help me, Larry. I am not equipped for this scenario."

The sound of Larry's rich, deep-throated laugh warmed my heart and settled my nerves a tad. "First of all, didn't you say he wanted to talk to you about his kid or something? Calm down, girl. Breathe for a minute. Remember, just because he came to see our show doesn't mean he's not straight. And we all know what happens when we fall in love with those cute and oh-so-tempting straight boys, right?"

Our eyes met as we spoke our mantra in unison. "Poor little queer hearts get broken when they pine for straight boys."

While I went to work removing my makeup, I eyed Larry thoughtfully in the mirror. "The thing is, I'm not sure if he is straight. At least, not razor-edged straight anyway. Trust me, Miss Kandi knows when a man is inspecting the merchandise and liking what he sees, and he was definitely interested in what I was selling. Oh! Wait! No, my gawd! I left out the best part! He was trying to place me, so I rattled off his coffee order in my normal voice and he was all like… wait! You're Andy, the cutie from the coffee cart!"

Larry nodded thoughtfully. "Yeah, calling you cutie doesn't sound totally straight, I’ll give you that one. You should definitely get the four-one-one on him, because you never know. How fantastic would it be if your crush was interested in return?" He sniffed, wiping away an imaginary tear. “My heart is full now. Just think, my sweet little gurl with a man of her own to love and hump in both good times and hornier, for as long as you both shall lust.”


About the Author

As an avid reader and big romance fan myself, I love sharing the stories of the different people who live in my imagination. My stories are filled with humor, a few tears, and the underlying message to not give up hope, even in the darkest of times, because life can change on a dime when you least expect it. This theme comes from a lifetime of lessons learned on my own hard journey through the pains of poverty, the loss of more loved ones than I’d care to count, and the struggles of living through chronic illnesses. Life can be hard, but it can also be good! Through it all I’ve found that love, laughter, and family can make all the difference, and that’s what I try to bring to every tale I tell.

I’m a happily married mom with one snarky teenage boy, and three grown “kids of my heart.” I’m more widely known for my mpreg writings as Susi Hawke; this new name is a departure from that. Whether written by Susan or Susi, the books are filled with that all-important love, laughter, and family I mentioned; the only difference is that this name has no male pregnancy. I look forward to sharing my stories with you, and to bringing more romance and laughter into this world that needs it so very badly.

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